Chinese Sat-Nav

Date: 3rd Dec 2020

Location: Dunno but there sure is a lot of ice

Specifically: Sinking into a mere because it looked walkable onnable!

Lockdown 2: Day 5

Mood: Oh bugger off!

TRAVEL DISASTERS

No 1 in a series of far too many.

Nipped out for a short walk this morning, very short actually, 20 yards to the bus stop round the corner. Moments after I arrive the bus appears with two other buses coming along the road behind it! Aha so it’s true what they say buses coming in threes!

I disembark (sorry - bit pompous) at Ellesmere and take a stroll across the mere (well, everyone walks round it, I wanted to try something different!). Very pleasant! Nice people, great variety of birds, beautiful surroundings and interesting sculptures; ‘Two Sisters’ in the form of a huge knobbly lump of whiteish coloured material. I spend a few minutes trying to see how it got the title but could only conclude that the sisters must have been brawling in cement and had dried out in the sun.

Next was a boy in a cage (well, good!) a hornet made from wickerwork, (ironic because the mere authorities got well and truly stung on the price) the word ‘Shhh‘ in huge letters in a secluded spot amongst the trees (nice but spoiled by the sound of a little girl shouting “Mummy I want to wee!” and finally a boat that appeared to be sinking under the weight of teenagers sitting on it (I wish but on grass it’s unlikely).

The return journey back to Northwood? Bit of a disaster really. There's a bus that goes direct to Northwood from Oswestry, which would be brilliant if it actually stopped here, except it doesn’t (why’s it on the timetable then!?) so I have to stand shivering for an hour in a queue that stretches ten miles down the road due to social distancing

Sat-Nav

Anyway, while I was out I met a guy who sold me a sat-nav. “They’re seconds” he told me “picked them up in China but they work a treat in the UK””How much?” I asked “A tenner to you gaffa” the man said. I took a risk - no great loss if it didn’t work.

But I was surprised when I tried it in my car and discovered it to be fully operational (even though the place names were in Chinese). First trip out was to Huddersfield! Exciting as I hadn’t seen Alex for months! After several hours I still hadn’t arrived. Strange, it shouldn’t be taking this long. I admit I was a little concerned when I was directed through the channel tunnel, across Europe and on a ferry back to England but I just figured the sat-nav was avoiding road works or something.

I needn’t have worried as it turns out. ‘You have reached your destination’ was flashing on the screen letting me know I’d arrived (actually it read 你已经到达目的地 but what do you expect for a tenner?). I got out and took a quick look around Huddersfield, Something had definitely changed but I couldn't quite put my finger on what. I took a quick snap to show you. See what you think...

That will teach me to try and do things on the cheap.

WHITCHURCH

After making a firm decision never to go to Whitchurch again, following yesterdays experience I went to Whitchurch this morning - well I needed to go on a gas run because my tank is empty (though you wouldn’t believe it from the noise emanating from beneath my duvet + several travel rugs, hot water bottle and flask of tea).

Alderford Lake

Bloody busy! Dunno why not much bigger than a pond in fact you can stride over it if you want to avoid walking around it. I understand this is the same patch of water that Sir Walter Raleigh chucked his coat onto to let a lady pass.

THE BIRDS

Alfred Hitchcock