Date: Tues 2nd Feb 2021
Location: Here’s a clue. The air is blue, I’m surrounded by lemons and there are sheep as far as the eye can see,
Specifically: That’s right, a secondary school.
Mood: I’m blogging so I’m content at the moment. But...
DEALS WITH ADULT THEMES AND CONTAINS MATERIAL WHICH
SOME PEOPLE MAY FIND *OFFENSIVE.
(*PS: HAVE SOME STUFF THATS REALLY REALLY REALLY OFFENSIVE! ONLY 20 QUID SENT UNDER PLAIN WRAPPER).
You know you’re in for a shitty day when your friend sends you a photo of a pile of snow where their car used to be. More info further down!! No you can’t have a link. Read! It’s only a couple of paragraphs!
It’s pouring with rain as per-usual. But one of the nice things about van life is the sound as it hammers on the roof, keeping you awake so that you can work through the night as well as the day.
Since I’m doing nothing in particular. I start to get a little concerned about Alex. He wasn’t good during the first full lockdown back in March 2020 and I know he’s struggling even more so with this one. I message him to say....
“Hi there matey. I need you to promise me you’ll look after yourself. Most important is ensuring you get a good night’s sleep, so I’ve got you a prescription for some sleeping tablets. You should take 2 tablets 3 times a day and 176 before bedtime with a glass of water.” This should put an end to your sleeping troubles but if not, let me know and we can try something else.”
Bless him, he appreciates these little tokens of concern, even thought he might not always show it.
New adventures today!
Actually the return of old ones as I prepare to leave the cosy, closeted, cosseted, security of Bridge Farm and make my way across the sprawling landscape towards ‘uddersfield or The Hudd as the locals call it.
Not much of an adventure you might think but in these strange times of ‘stay in and save lives’ even a trip to the newsagents equates to a fortnight in the Bahamas - well maybe Bridlington but you get the idea.
Some might say “why leave the farm?” You have access to everything you need, EHU, water, security, cheap gas, Karen (Barneys owner) who pops in for tea and a chat from time to time. But that’s just it. I’ve gone soft. If you’ve been keeping up I arrived at the farm in June 8 months ago! The best part of a year. Up until then I was managing rather nicely, always found somewhere to park up (some better than others), close to amenities, sightseeing. It wasn’t all good, occasionally I would hear the dreaded knock on the door as some clown demanded I move on, even though I was always legitimately parked. Dunno what the deal is with people. They know they don’t have a leg to stand on, and yet they brazenly stand there getting red faced and angry, reeling off all the things they will do to you if you don’t move on, as if they were a landowner and you were a thief caught running off with a pig to make bacon sandwiches.
I can’t say I always took these things in my stride. I often take things quite personally, which doesn’t help when you are trying to make like a movie hero and stay cool, calm and collected, while fighting down the urge to rope them to the back bumper and drive around a field for an hour.
All things considered though I was doing OK. Until I got settled down at the farm. Sean (unintentionally) got it right one day, when he said “you’ve got everything you need here, it’s like living in a house.” Precisely, but if I had wanted to live in a house I wouldn’t have sold the one I’d already got. I needed to get going. Unfortunately heading up to see Alex for the remainder of the winter wasn’t much different, but lockdown means not going where you like - for everyone.
See!! You got here! Now that wasn’t so bad was it? So as I was saying my day starts with the following message from young Alex...
“This has suddenly appeared overnight. I don't know if it'll put you off coming but it's a good 6 inches of the hateful shite. B*****d”
Horrified, especially because we’ve only got rain. I reply.....
“What in the name of fuck is that!? (How are you still conscious btw?) If you didn’t want me to come over you could have just said, there was no need to go colluding with god to cover the area in this shite. Well that really is a ***** trick.”
ADOLF
I don’t like rude people, and I especially don’t like rude people who make scathing comments about my friends. In this case Deb. Deb has only just started turning her passion for painting into a business. Already she is getting commissions and receiving well earned praise from very satisfied customers. She also needs a bit of support when it come to believing in herself. So when along comes some snot nosed little keyboard warrior, (parks his car in a barn when he only needs a bike stand, if you know what I mean) I get quite angry.
Here’s the commissioned painting that Deb completed.
...and this is a few of the comments (oh yes there were more!) posted by Sergeant Major could-I-possibly-be-a-bigger-twat-than-I-already-am Dickfiddla
“It’s not steampunk it’s a pet photo”
“Ugliest rat I’ve ever seen”
“It’s not steampunk. Period”
“its not an opinion...there actually is nothing steampunk about it”
“What a rude little man you are. How in the world are you still in this group? Since you’re the expert on what is and isn’t steampunk perhaps you’d care to enlighten the rest of us lesser mortals. Your spare time is clearly spent folding your underpants, putting tinned food in date order and ironing your banknotes. I’m sure you think that anyone who doesn’t live up to your lofty standards should be rounded up and shot, leaving the world to you and your anally retentive squad of jackbooted, goose-stepping, seig-heiling band of pseudo sergeant majors.”
That’s maybe a bit harsh but he’ll have a read through my post, recognise he’s been out of order and post a grovelling apology on Facebook for the world to see!
Hah!!
“that's some seriously neurotic bullshit for me stating a FACT”
Oh dear, is there an apology in there? Hardly - the guy can’t even tell the difference between fact and opinion. I post a reply...
“Cheap insults but not man enough to take responsibility for your actions. I suppose we should have expected nothing less. My comments were a sensible and fair response to your rudeness towards someone who is trying to make a go of her artwork. Instead of embarrassing yourself with pointless arguing why not show you’re a decent guy by having the good grace to apologise for some very offensive comments.”
Surely now he’s big enough to say sorry.
Nah.
It all ends in tears when Facebook, true to form, deletes all of our messages. “The innocent suffer with the violent” as Clint Eastwood & General Saint used to sing!
Who??? Check out the link!! Another one bites the dust!
Clint Eastwood & General Saint.
More later guys. Thanks for looking!
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