Date: Sun 14th Feb 2021
Location: Huddersfield
Specifically: Beaumont Park
Mood: Somewhat unsettled. Taking a while to get acclimatised following my long spell at the farm.
WARNING: DEALS WITH THEMES RELATED TO
TEXTURES AND FABRICS AND MAY CONTAIN MATERIAL THAT SOME PEOPLE MIGHT FIND A BIT ROUGH GOING
MET OFFICE IS STEALING OUR WEATHER
Right! So where is it then? I refer to the rise in temperature predicted by the met office. Today Sun 14th Feb (Valentines Day as well I might add!) was the day we were supposed to say goodbye to the arctic conditions, starting today with 6c today and gradually rising to 14c over the next few days. Well we got the low temperatures, the howling winds, the snow and now the damned pouring rain, but where, pray tell, is the warmer weather!? I’ll tell you where. It’s at the met office, under lock and key, where only they can get at it.
For years the great British public have been convinced that weather forecasters are nothing but a bunch of imbeciles bumbling around trying to predict the weather by incongruous means such as; sniffing hemp (they seem most insistent that it has to be smoking at the time), dropping a boy scout out of the window (if he falls on his head there will be thunder) and making those little paper fortune teller things that we played with at school - 'flip flip flip flop flip flap flop' Taa Dahh - ’Storms and Sheet Lightning' - What!? We can’t tell them that, just say the weather will be changeable, can’t really argue with that one can they?
But you want the truth? The Weather Service is a clandestine organisation run by shadowy figures acting above and beyond the law and are actually bloody geniuses when it comes to predicting the weather!? So where is it? Unbelievable as it sounds they are actually storing up the best weather and auctioning it off to the highest bidders!!! Now it all becomes crystal clear (assuming that the forcast was correct). But the reason they appear to get so many things wrong is because some countries leader has bought some nice weather and arranged to have it delivered to their own country!!Leaving us with the crap!
The way they’ve got it figured is the British public are irresponsible and we’d only waste it; besides warmer temperatures might accelerate the spread of the plague. Best they hang on to it for safe keeping along with all the other decent weather they’ve been storing. Come the revolution brothers and sisters, come the revolution!
HAUL ASS
Today it’s time to haul ass to another location. My experience at Greenhead Park gives me an idea. Parks almost always have adjacent roads to encourage visitors and to make access easy. These roads, or at least sections of them, have no parking restrictions. My destination today is Beaumont Park. ETA from Milnsbridge according to my GPS is 8 minutes. I never learn. Half an hour and two wrong turns later (even on a clear day I can drive in a fog) I arrive.
Parking is even better that I hoped for. Extremely long roads with no restrictions, legal ones that is, it won’t stop the moaners who make assumptions about motorhome owners and challenge them in public as if they were the Waffen SS. There are also lots of side roads, again with ample parking (and by that, I mean areas that don’t impact on residents legally or culturally e.g. “I always park here because it’s outside my house”.
CONVERSATIONS WITH ALEX
Yesterday our hero was treating me to another rant about lockdown. He believes it’s doing more harm than good - damaging the economy, enforced isolation and loneliness, increase in suicides, extensive job losses and so on. He’s not on his own, lots of people, including many top scientists also take this view.
Alex does his own little protest by wearing a mask made from an old sock. It’s a sort of giant “fuck you” to what he calls “lockdown lovers”. His favourite arguments are, that more people die with the virus than from it. In other words they have some sort of debilitating condition that would have hastened their demise anyway. He also refers to the virus as ‘the made up virus’ or ‘the Chinese virus’ but these are just wind ups. At least I think they are, you can’t always tell with him. They are also defence mechanisms; Alex is one of the most decent people I know yet the moment he discovers something that really irritates people he will flaunt it to the hilt. It’s as if he wants people to dislike him.
I’m not sure I agree with him but I’m certain about one thing, an anti-lockdown culture exists, but it’s supporters are ignored, ridiculed or drowned in their own sanitiser. Fear is an immensely powerful weapon, and if the population feel that a strict lockdown policy can protect them, any alternative argument is going to struggle to get a hearing. This alternative view is supported in a report known as ‘The Great Barrington Declaration’. A paper produced by renowned scientists arguing that lockdown is doing more harm than good. In light of his views I forward him a link to an article about how New Zealand are dealing with lockdown.......
“You might find this interesting. Testicle head”
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-56059960
“Set of cretinous tossers.”
Hmmm. It would appear he doesn’t. I express my surprise...
“Eh? 3 days lockdown n done. Thought you’d have been delighted with that”.
“Oh I see what you mean. Yes it's better than a year like here.”
He moves to the fascinating subject of where I am. I assume he means geographically .....
“At Beaumont Park atm. Parked up 2 mins and had 3 moaners already! Upper class twats. At least heating is on”
“Hopefully they'll die from the virus.”
I agree and throw my own ideas into the pot....
“Oh..... I kind of laid them in the road and ran back n forth over them for an hour. Made intricate patterns in the street! Great fun! And a serious alternative to snow angels! It’s also a great way to get the blood circulating in this cold weather,” (not theirs though obvs)👍
Given his anti- lockdown views, I forward a photo I think he’ll get a kick out of. The photo shows a gate I saw earlier in the day that has been barricaded to protect against any spawn of Satan who comes a calling with packages, parcels, floral arrangements, or who even looks like they might break the 2 metre rule. I admit I stood in front of the gate for a few minutes, fascinated by the level of some people’s paranoia. I’m surprised there weren’t a couple of military police officers with Doberman’s patrolling outside and machine gun turrets on top of the pillars. (Yes alright I may have added a few extras here and there!)
“F**k! This is a bit extreme. Paranoid c**t”
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