*May contain strong language and material that some people may find offensive!*
Date: Friday 3rd April 2020
Quarantine: Day 11
Location: I’m running out of gags for this part now ☹️
Specifically: Resting It’s always a good start to the day when it begins with a message from a bestie, in this case, Rachael! Last night I hammered out a couple of messages reminding her how amazing she is and a couple of responses to her facebook postings. She was pleased to wake up to them, I was happy to send them.
It’s time to take the tour bus to it’s next destination.
Spent much of my day finishing off the ‘virtual world’ photos I took during the times when I was lurking within my VR headset. I’m pleased with the way they turned out, it’s a novel way to pass the time during Lockdown.
The best of todays photos were destined for ’Isolation Creation’ a facebook page set up to showcase work by artists during the quarantine period. I had high hopes for them but four hours later and all I’ve seen are 5 reactions and a couple of comments. Oh well at least they were fun to do.
Next assignment - get photos ready to sell. I’d seen a couple of postings on Facebook for a website that allowed you to present and sell your photos. But for the life of me I couldn’t find it. I did find out though that your own website is the best place to sell anything. I also discovered that, next to your own website was Adobe Systems.
Funny how, when I was editing photos, I felt there were loads I could sell. Now that I was in the process of trying to do just that I was struggling to find any that I felt were good enough. In the end I dug out about 8-9 that I felt possessed sufficient merrit and uploaded them.
..... but that was premature because it turns out thry need to be under 45 Meg. I don’t know how to get them under 45 Meg. Yet. I will return to this presently!
SOCIAL NON-DISTANCING
I’ve been somewhat disturbed these past few days by postings on Facebook complaining about people not following the emergency guidelines during quarantine - Christ bouncing coconuts off an elephants arse! There‘s only one of the bloody things - how is it possible to get it wrong!?
Yet in the past few days I’ve heard rumours of war graves being damaged, groups of people stood around chatting, one guy prosecuted for holding house parties, people not observing the 2M rule - on and on and on. It simply beggars belief.
In order to help these morons here‘s my own handy guide to understanding the quarantine regulations.
Regulations. D.O.N.T. —— G.O —— O.U.T
Don’t
This word refers to things you should not do. For example
“Don’t swear” Means don’t use expletives i.e naughty words.
”Don’t embezzle” i.e nick, tax, pinch
Means don’t take money that does not belong to you.
or...
”Barry please don’t indulge your Onanistic compulsions in Argos!
.... It is being made clear to Barry that he should not be whopping his todger in a catalogue shop.
“Nigel don’t point your penis at people”
Means there is a time and place for everything and whirling your John Thomas around in public is not one of them.
OK? Got it now? Don’t means exactly what it says. Don’t. Do Not!!! No absolutely not, nae, never etc
Go
Almost the opposite of ‘don’t’. Go means to head in a certain direction e.g go North, South, East, West, to Hell etc
Can’t understand why some people find this so difficult; the word has been around for eons.
“Uncouth youth! “thy stinketh unto high heaven, go and get the servant to run a bath for thee lest the stench from thy foul carcas brings forth an invasion of woodlice.
”Basil please be so good as to visit the corner shop and bring me back a cabbage”
It is a word often used when one person is cross with another. For example....
”Go now before I lose my temper and fill your Y-Fronts with elderberries”,? A
”Quickly! Go now for the lady has returned and will smother thee in cough syrup”
“Go away you horrid little stain before I throw your mobile in the turnips”
”Go to hell though barbarous foul mouthed lily livered gobshite“
Out
Used to show movement away from the inside of a place or container. Perhaps an example or two will help...
”Norman be so good as to fuck off out for I am trying to hoover the mantlepiece”
”Oh Barclay please be so kind as to throw out that old bathtub for the bottom is covered in nasal hair”
“I am going out of the room as I have soiled myself and am most fearful of creating a stench”
Sorry peeps, I know I’m preaching to the converted but theIr are still a number of people being jelly heads.
FACEBOOK HUMOUR
Humour uploaded from Facebook or daylight robbery which ever your cynical mind thinks is most appropriate. .
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