Date: Friday 12th July 2019
Location: Thurcroft, Rotherham
Specifically: Sat at the driver seat of my moho trying to look I've been driving it for years!
The moment I had been simultaneously looking forward to and dreading - my first outing in the moho. Gone were all my good intentions about being less concerned with size and more with onboard facilities and amenities. In other words I wanted something that was large enough for me to feel at home in as opposed to a weekend outing. Actually if I'm honest what I really hoped for was something the size of a mini that would somehow enable an entire house to be fitted inside.
During my research I came across these
The Peel 50! Perfect - but can could you live in it?
...but decided that what I really need was one of these...
...but I can't have one of these because time travel hasn't been invented yet. Problems problems.
Meanwhile back on earth............
The Hymer looked a large vehicle when I bought it but now as I set of from Stuart & Bronwyns to drive to my friend Alex's in Huddersfield it appeared to have grown to the size of a small house with wheels (though I suppose if it didn't look like this I would have a claim under the trades description act).
I was unaware that Stuart was taking photographs as I left on my first excursion; which was a good thing as it happens because had I known beforehand I would probably probably have reversed into him. As I got behind the wheel I tried (and hoped) I gave the appearance of *appearing chilled and relaxed - something along the lines of "Hell yeah, drive one of these things everyday man, piece of piss! "OMG it is a piece of piss I wondered what that stain on my trousers was!
It would not be accurate to say I was petrified and shaking with fear - if I was that bad I should probably have gone for something a little smaller - like a wigwam or discarded freezer packaging - you know one of those things that teenagers climb into so they can sit inside it on the motorway and hope nothing hits them - but I did feel pretty nervous I have to admit.
As it was it turned out OK - probably as a result of waiting until it was fairly late at night and there wasn't a great deal of traffic around. The only time I felt panicky was when I arrived at Alex's. The turn into his road is very tight and it was not helped by a huge overgrown hedge to my right and a large car parked to my left. This combination made it difficult to leave as wide a turning circle as I should have done with the result that my side of the van caught against the hedge making an agonising screeching sound which I was convinced had torn away a sizeable portion of the bodywork - a sort of third degree burn for vehicles.
Unbeknownst to me at the time - driving late at night had taught me a lesson, especially with respect to driving in Huddersfield - I just hadn't realised it yet. It was this - do not drive around this particular part of Huddersfield during a rush hour because if you do you will end up not being able to move in one direction or the other and the drivers who paths you are blocking will shout at you, make rude gestures and call you lots of nasty names.
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