*May contain strong language and material that some people may find offensive!*
Date: Thursday 27th February 2020
Location: West Kirby, Wirral, Merseyside
Specifically: Gazing out to see and moaning about the shitty start to my day because a certain friend insists on treating my facebook postings/ messages like exam test papers I.e criticising grammar, punctuation etc.
I don’t really want to do this - get all maudlin about a certain someone - when I’m supposed to be writing a humour based book. Not going to mention names obviously but just getting so fed up when someone I have known for many years suddenly becomes highly critical of lighthearted facebook postings and messages. Seriously?
Example:
Message: When theirs a will there’s a way
Reply: there’s
This attitude might be accetable on an English language exam paper or a job application but on a casual message!? Come on!
Still, best not to dwell on it.
All being well Kat will be coming later, if she’s up to it. We’re going to take a walk along the ‘Jesus Path’ as I call it - the one that makes it appear as if you're walking on water - from a distance - which would be really cool because that would mean defying gravity as well! Won’t be seeing her tonight as her BF is coming round so I can use the time to get on with crafting!
WARNING FOR TIME MACHINE OWNERS
....especially those that wish to park at the sea front at West Kirby!
Please be warned that parking restrictions have been put in place by Merseyside council in a bid to prevent time machine owners going backwards in time in an attempt to stay one step ahead of legitimate road users.
Usual penalties
The usual penalties incurred from illegal parking are an initial warning (verbal or written and slapped on the windscreen) followed by a parking ticket and a fine. However time machine owner Mr J Vern from the planet ‘Tenterkal Fodd4’ complained that Merseyside council are going one step further and imposing ludicrous penalties.
Mr D Tennant originally from the planet Gallifrey told us that his time-machine had actually been impounded! “Cheap bastards tossed it into a wormhole while I was out with the missis - Ms B Piper. Ended up three billion light years away from Earth, b******s skanked me for £3 to get it back and £73.6 million for fuel!”
Mr D Tennant having his Time-Machine returned to him.
He told us - I parked my machine on the sea front on Tuesday 4th February but by the time it arrived back on earth it was two weeks later AND some time before I first arrived. I had to wait another 6 hours before it materialised. You can always rely on the bloody council to do everything early!
The owner of this vehicle has been nicked so many times that his time-machine wad converted into a public shit-house to humiliate him!
And this lot have actually been impounded!
While Davros was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. We asked him
“Davros you are the leader and creator of the Dalek race, one of the mightiest and most ruthless warriors in the universe, how come you ended up being mistaken for a time-machine and impounded in an old warehouse!?”
”Exterminate!!!”
”eh?”
”All earthlings must die!!”
“eh...what...... pardon? but I don’t know what, er.... why are you looking at me like that!? Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh“
”Stupid earthlIng”
KAT UPDATE
Nada! Don’t know what‘s happened today. It’s not unusual for her to go AWOL - sometimes for weeks at a time but she usually gets in touch to let me know if there’s something she’s unable to attend or turn up for. I know her BF is coming today but not sure what time. Best leave it for today, see if she gets in touch later or tomorrow. Besides my friend Steph isn’t well so I need to be on hand for her in case theres anything I can do (Unlikely but you never know).
STEAMPUNK
A positive day - once I‘d had a walk to Morrisons
to avail myself of their facilities and buy one of those big bottles of water containing enough to fill a small swimming pool!
Never thought I’d see the day I’d buy the stuff to be honest, buy something you can get out of a tap for nowt!? Not bloody likely - like the old joke about selling sand to the Arabs. But that was before I looked in my water tank after I’d filled it - bits of grit and other UFO (Unidentified Floating Objects). Showering, shitting and shaving yup! But drinking - nae way!
BEDTIME
Whenever I go out for a walk somewhere I can guarantee that within 10 minutes of getting back I will feel really tired. So...
Q: Not sleeping very well
A: Go out for evening stroll
Make evening stroll more interesting by taking advantage of my mobiles ability to take night shots without a tripod,
Result
Nice evening photos
No bloody sleep!
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