Date: Tuesday 14th April 2020
*May contain strong language and material that some people may find offensive!*
Quarantine: Day
Location: Not be long now before I haul ass out of here!
Specifically: Oh come on, you know more about where I am than I do.
VR: Wrong Voyage/Chernobyl
Hiding inside VR makes a welcome change from squatting inside Hymie and gazing out at the locals continuing to enjoy their enforced quarantine.
Wouldn’t matter so much if it was an interesting selection of the pleasant people I usually see but no such luck. It’s the bunch of reprobates whose only pleasure is creating as much disturbance as possible. I’m surprised they aren't having drive by shootings, mugging relays and going around the area shouting “bring out your dead”.
Since I’ve mentioned wandering around the surreal world that is ’Wrong Voyage’ allow me to mention my other virtual world - ‘Chernobyl’ that made up my evenings entertainment. Chernobyl as you may recall “was a nuclear accident that occurred on Saturday 26 April 1986, at the No. 4 nuclear reactor in the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant, near the city of Pripyat in the north of the Ukraine“. “It is considered the worst nuclear accident in history”. Number of deaths has proven difficult to establish due to the long term nature of radiation sickness but has been estimated to reach as high as 16,000 when including the total continent of Europe’
Source: Wikipedia Tuesday 14th April 2020.
ALEX
Been a bit silent on the Alex front lately; hardly surprising since many people are feeling somewhat maudlin at the moment. That said, Maudlin is Alex’s current state anyway so you can imagine what a miserable twat he‘s being! But Alex is also in ‘bus’ mode! Nothing for ages and then several at once. So here are today’s conversational gems for today!
Accounting System
After lunch he tells me that he would like to sell his house. Before he can do that he will need to produce audited accounts. No problem I tell him just produce the audited accounts.
”I can’t“
”Because you don’t keep any?”
”Because they are outside“
“Outside”
”in a tumble dryer
“As in the tumble drier you had a bonfire in the previous evening?”
”————“
Boat House
I tell Alex that prior to buying a motorhome I had seen a long boat that I was interested in purchasing. He tells me he knew someone that used to live on a boat.
...but he doesn’t live on it anymore”
...because it sank”
..he’s dead now anyway”
Coronavirus in Antartica
“Cases of the Coronavirus in Antarctica are zero”
Inna
i know someone called inna her surname was tube
Birthday Present present - 2 bags of old newspapers a second hand jigsaw puzzle and some kit kats and a twirl!
FACEBOOK HUMOUR
Please let the clothing stores open now. We've changed sizes!!
Posted to FB group ‘Sheffield Humour & Jokes’ by Jacqueline Huggins.
CAN THE ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN THIS GROUP?
WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, A VERY ELDERLY MAN, HE HAS BEEN PRIVATE MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NUDE PICTURES OF HIMSELF IN VERY NASTY POSES, ALONG WITH CLOSE-UP PICTURES OF HIM IN HIS UNMENTIONABLES. HE IS OFFERING AN iPHONE 8 IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS.
I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN iPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH IT. IT RUNS SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.
THANK YOU!🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️
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