*Contains adult themes and material which some people may find offensive*
Date: Friday 15th November 2019
Location: Stratford-upon-Avon
Specifically: Tudor History Museum
So fascinated by Stratford I have decided to stay an extra day - for which I’m sure Stratfordians will be eternally grateful.
But before I continue I feel another fun fact coming on!!
Following the entertainment value to be had by visiting Shakespeare’s new house, I also discovered another interesting snippet of information. Apparently in his youth young Willy was pissed off with certain members of the public creeping around in the dead of night making a nuisance of themselves.
He responded by running round to the leader of the local Watchmen to share ‘intel’ about the guilty parties (colq. grassing people up) for which they were duly nicked. So pleased were the watchmen with this arrangement that they just sat in the cop shop supping ale saying, “we might as well leave all crimefighting to Old Bill’ An expression that is still used today to describe the police. You doubt my word? Your choice...
What will be of interest to steampunks is the origin of the term ‘quack doctor’. Apparently this comes from the plague doctors who used to attend plague victims. They weren’t short of ‘cures’ for the plague but they usually did more harm than good. How high would your spirits be lifted if you got a visit from the doctor who turned up looking like this!?
Yeah, you would probably die of fright! Add to that the fact that these ‘doctors’ were shit to begin with since they were usually failed medical students or ones who wouldn’t know a stethoscope from a kaleidoscope.
There is a wide choice of places of interest - mostly surrounding Shakespeare as you would expect but given that I’d seen (or not seen as in the case of Shakespeare’s new house!) all the stuff I wanted to see I opted for the Tudor History museum.
Would you believe it, I had barely arrived at the museum before I found myself in trouble. Lurking around like a stray fart under a duvet was a lady dressed in the most exquisite finery.....
”Elizabethan!” Quothe I?
“Mock Tudor” Quothe she
Well..... Couldn't resist could I?
“Ner ner n ner ner” “Ner ner n ner ner”
”?”
“Yah boo and sucks to you, you overstuffed wench!”
“??”
“you Fat bastard! You fat bastard! You fat ba....
“What the fuck are you doing?”
(Just my luck for one of the watchmen to appear)
“What I was told to do“
“And what, pray tell, would that be?“
”Mock Tudor“
”Oh really! Right two weeks in the stocks for you, you fucking little wise acre’
I actually really enjoyed this museum. Entry is £6 which, given the inflated prices of some of the other cultural exhibits (not to mention the £20 for looking at a none existent house!) turned out to be excellent value. There is plenty to see and do and, (very rare these days), you are encouraged to take as many photos as you want!
In addition to the live actors in Tudor clothing, (who I didn’t actually ‘mock’ by the way), you can try your hand at writing with a quill pen, take part in a witch trial, get a taste of what life was like at sea (not literally you will be pleased to know), find out what it’s like to be placed in the stocks and try your arse on a Tudor shithouse!!! Great entertainment for a couple of hours or so.
SATURDAY A.M: A WORD OF CAUTION
A great day until about 1.00 am. Then I hear yelling, shouting, car engines reviving up, the sound of cars screeching round and round the car park I was in, clearly coming close to the moho. I looked out the window to see a car about 100 yards away.
Taking no chances I made the decision to move onto the main road outside the venue where the steampunk weekend is being held. Just as well - as I drove off I saw two cars in the most secluded area of the parking lot, teenagers/young people??? stood around up to no good I’m guessing.
I‘ve heard a few moho owners say they’ve never had these sort of experiences but then I’m also thinking that most moho owners don’t use their vehicle as often as I use mine. I live off the grid to keep costs down but for occasional users I would say you are far better parking on certified sites.
Safe driving.
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