Date: Tuesday 20th August 2019
Location: Chester
Specifically: Chester Zoo with my lovely crazy friend Kat (She's the one on the right during one of her quieter moments.
Chester zoo - here I come! Can’t pass up the chance to see a bit of wildlife, though there’s plenty in Rotherham where I come - just nip into the town centre of a Friday night and you’ll see all manner of species who will find themselves in a cage come 11.30 p.m.
But thirty quid to get in! Thirty bleeding quid! Fuck, someones in the wrong job and it ain't them. Anyway in my day for that sort of moolah you could get; the weekly shopping, a new suit, dinner in a posh restaurant and a taxi home and still have £28 change ...... bloody skanking robbers ...... etc etc
Zoos have most certainly changed since I last saw one - which was actually on television. The nearest I’ve ever got to seeing one in the flesh (or fur!) was visiting Wentworth garden centre which has a few goats, chickens and other assorted farmyard fodder - a petting zoo I think they’re called. Though later on I observed a couple of teenagers round the back of a craft shop who had their own idea of a petting zoo.
My recollection is that animals were kept in cages with a few bits and pieces thrown in, in a lame attempt to make the animal feel more at home - assuming, for example, that a lions home consisted of a cage about 10’x6’ with a few twigs thrown in, a dish of water and a bowl of Winalot.
Nowadays the emphasis is on placing the animals in enclosures that are more representative of their home environment. The down side of this is that the animal might temporarily ‘disappear‘ so you may have to wait a while before you see them. This can work in the visitors favour though as, with tamer animals, you can actually wander amongst them (albeit under supervision from members of zoo staff). If bats are your thing you can visit the bat cave (no superheroes in it though or high tec gadgetery!) and watch the bats flitting around your head and hanging from the ceiling! An amazing experience.
One of the issues I have with big commercialised places like this is that, where food, and pretty much everything else is concerned, you can be certain of three things; the portions will be small, the prices will be high and it will be served with a mountain of limp salad to make you think you‘re getting your moneys-worth.
Heres an example......
....... and this is only a fraction of what to expect, trust me on this; there is a world of twisted shit in these places....One of the issues I have with big commercialised places like this is that, where food, and pretty much everything else is concerned, you can be certain of three things; the portions will be small, the prices will be high and it will be served with a mountain of limp salad to make you think you‘re getting your moneys-worth.
Heres an example......
Take the people whose job it is to serve members of the public. There seems to be a correlation in that the more commercialised the establishment the more po faced, rude and miserable the staff. I mean look at these two.....
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